How to Help

If you are supporting a friend who has experienced interpersonal violence, the Center for Prevention & Advocacy is here to support you. Contact us anytime to set up a meeting with an advocate.

The truth about sexual violence

It's never the fault of the survivor. Your friend was not assaulted because of something they did or did not do, or what they were wearing. It has nothing to do with going to a party or social event. It has nothing to do with not fighting, or not saying no, loud enough.

It can happen to anyone. Sexual assault can occur in dating situations, in friendships, and between acquaintances who've just met. It happens to people of all sexual orientations, gender identities, cultural identities, ages, and social classes.

It happens because of another person's actions. Sexual assault occurs because there was a person in the room willing to commit sexual or interpersonal violence; a person willing to coerce, manipulate, pressure, or overpower your friend in order to hurt them; a person who did not receive ongoing, freely given consent.

It takes courage for a survivor of sexual assault or domestic violence to share their story with anyone. Never underestimate your power to affect the course of a survivor's healing journey.

If someone shares their experience with you, you are probably someone they can look to for support, compassion, and guidance. Although you can't take away what happened to someone, you can be a source of comfort.

What should I do if someone tells me they were victimized?

Listen – Pay attention, don’t interrupt, show you care, and validate their experience.
Address immediate safety concerns – Find out if the person is safe/has a safe place to go or if anyone else may be in danger.
Contact a specialist – Call (504) 286-5289 for more information on how to help. If it is okay with the person, call while they are with you. A specialist can talk with the person over the phone, come to your location, or arrange for the person to visit our office.
Be prepared – Have contact numbers, websites, email addresses, and referral options readily available.
Believe - Remind them that this was not their fault, even if it seems obvious. Let them know that you believe them, and be non-judgmental in your approach. It’s not your job to investigate, or to find out all the details about what happened. Focus on helping them to feel supported, and keep any questions limited to what they need and how you can help.
Be flexible – Respect the person’s wishes, and do not force them to do what you think they should.
Be realistic – Recovery time and healing may take longer than you think.
Understand – Different people react to trauma in different ways. Familiarize yourself with common reactions to victimization.
Obtain resources – Visit our Resources page, ask Victim Services for information to keep on hand, or request a presentation for your class, department, student group, residence hall, etc, or download our list of victim rights and resources.
Respect confidentiality – Be honest if you are required to report what the person is telling you to someone else. Specialists provide confidential services to our clients.
Repeat information – People in crisis often do not retain verbal information/instructions. Follow up by email or provide written materials, if it is safe for the person to take them home.
Learn more crisis intervention tips.
Learn more about what to do if someone you know is sexually assaulted.
Learn more about what to do if someone you know is in an abusive relationship.

What should I say if someone tells me they were victimized?

Be supportive and affirming.
Assure the person it is not their fault.
Let them know you’re sorry this happened.
Don’t blame the victim or question what they did or didn’t do.
Learn more about what to say/not to say.

What if I want more information?

Visit our Resources page for a list of available resources at SUNO and in the community.
Contact (504) 286-5289 to consult with a specialist.